Saturday April 15th 2007
Hello there dearest readers, nice of you to pop in for a little read.
Today is day one without Brendan in charge, "NO No charge later AFTER SLEEP" I heard Giuseppe trying to explain to a guest in his best English.
Well where to begin. BB set sail yesterday, gone less than 24 hours and we have already had two guests check out without paying and all because Brendan forgot to leave the guest hand cuffs, so we had no way of making them stay and pay.
Brendan will kill us, He prides himself on never giving a sucker a break.
Now down to more serious guest issues.
We are thinking of offering complimentary Liposuction for all guests who cannot make it up two flights of the nicest non steep steps in all Amsterdam, lovely white and black, black and white, white and black and so on all the way up.
Today two rather tall Sumo's arrived at the office, early at 7am with a lower life form in tow. (bum, drug addict, poor bastard).
Very strange folks indeed, on seeing them first, I knew straight away it was curtains for any bed they sat on, I greeted them as warmly as I do when meeting any two huge whales. I explained that the apartment would not be available until 2pm and would they like to store their luggage and go for a walk and get some breakfast. Well no sooner had I said BREAKFAST, their eyes lit up like roman candles and they muttered almost together "Where is Breakfast" For a second I thought they were going to tuck into me as there was only me and the drug addict bum around and not a pick of meat on him.
They refused to leave their luggage in our office (don't think they liked the look of me) and decided to let the drug addict bum carry them.
Off they rolled down the street to the nearest open breakfast place I knew would be open that early "Rene's" is a very small bakery so I think they will have to have breakfast one at a time, but I diden't tell them this.
I told them to return at 2pm.
Well as you know , Time fly's and no sooner where they gone but they were back, bigger then ever. They must have eaten the entire bakery, Building and all.
Anyway to cut a long story in half (Robbie tired and it's bed time 2.24am ).
They arrived back minus the drug addict/bum
"Jeepers creepers where did you get them stairs" one said, The other just looked like she was just about to climb mount Everest.
I carried their bags up and they tried to get up carry themselves up the stairs. These stairs are not even a bad set of steps to get up even carrying two suitcases, but the two of them turned first, red then purple but they finally made it up , it's less then 25 steps in total.
Anyway I gave them the guided tour of Amsterdam Hideaway and they seemed very happy , I had it nice and cool with the air-co.
I headed back to the office.
I was only back a few minutes when they appeared back in the office,
"We want to check out" we cannot climb the stairs, we just cannot" we need a lift., You both need plastic surgery dears as well as a lift, I muttered to myself.
So they checked out and we were left with nine empty nights and several hundred Euro poorer.
I felt like sticking a pin n both of them to see would they burst.
Bed Time
Over and up your's
Robbie Re.
Still sourest mouth in 4 counties
Tomorrow day 2 of Living without Brendan
