How to Avoid Accidentally Sleeping with a Man in Amsterdam's Red Light District

For the unwary, the inexperienced and, indeed, the drunk or stoned, there is considerable risk that you may accidentally sleep with man during you time in the Red Light District. Transgendered folk of various types - shemales, ladyboys and transvestites (“trannies” to their friends) - represent only about 5% of sex workers in Amsterdam but that percentage rockets in the early hours of the morning, when most of the females prostitute have gone home and when innocent, unwary little tourists are at their most drunk and stoned.

Unless you know the tricks that this article is going to share with you, it can often be terrifically hard to tell that a particularly attractive young woman is, in fact, a young man and it may well be the case that other factors conspire against you too: might it be possible that, deep down, in the most shameful recesses of your mind, you actually WANT to sleep with a bloke? I mean, think about it: why are you so worried about the possibility that you might accidentally sleep with a man? What is it, exactly, that you are scared of?

We would suggest that is a conversation you might want to have with yourself, just in case you have been suppressing your desperate desire for cock all these years, your visit to Amsterdam might be the ideal opportunity to surprise yourself and leap right out of the closest - if that is the case, a good starting point for you would be to read our rainbow-filled article “How to Find LadyBoys, Shemales and Transvestites in Red Light District of Amsterdam”.

If, however, you must continue this charade of pretending to be straight, okay, I’ll play along.

So, the first thing you need to know is that most of the hookers in Amsterdam’s Red Light District have … red lights! Some, however, have … blue lights … and that is meant to signal that the sex worker is actually a man.

Now, that may seem to be a pretty clearcut system but, like so much in life, it is not quite that simple. Firstly, there is no legal requirement that a transgender sex worker use a blue light, most simply opt to because it prevents arguments later - if a tourist is shocked to discover that the object of his lust, once naked, is packing a bigger willy than him, he cannot get a refund, the sex worker merely has to point out that he should have known what the blue light meant. A handful of particularly convincing shemales and ladyboys, usually the smaller ones, know they can make more money by using a red light and relying upon skilful positioning to prevent the customer from ever noticed their appendage. It is a surprisingly successful ruse.

Another problem is that, during the daytime, the blue lights are not nearly as noticeable, they are much darker than the red lights and, sometimes, one window will have both a red and a less obvious blue light - they only need one blue light to have been there to be able to claim they weren’t misrepresenting themselves. Be sure to look carefully, a blue light might even have been artfully obscured by a fold of curtain.

If you do find yourself in a situation where you’ve handed over your money and excitedly kicked off your trousers, only to notice an unexpected python in the room, the most important thing is to handle the situation with grace: in the big scheme of things, what do a few Euros matter and, let’s face it, you are going to have a great story to share with your drinking buddies when you get back home. Stay friendly, make a joke of it, pull back on your trousers and don’t even think there is any possibility of getting your money back - that is “her” money now. Certainly, there is now reason for you to feel sexually threatened by the situation - like every other sex worker in the world, it is about money, not sex, she will be entirely fine with you just getting out of there, she has probably encountered this situation countless times before.

Finally, there is the problem that some transgendered sex workers decide to go the whole way and have gender reassignment surgery. It may sound impossible but these procedures have become so sophisticated, it is often very hard to tell that someone has not been a female all her life. Having gone to all that trouble, they consider themselves to be female and, therefore, consider themselves to be fully justified in using red lights and, so, you really cannot tell, hundreds of thousands of men have slept with other men over the years and never even known.

Personally, I figure that what you don’t know can’t hurt you (unless you now have AIDS) but, if you really want to be sure that you are sleeping with a 100% genetically female women, it would probably be a good idea to avoid the Asian and South American prostitutes in the Red Light District, even if they seem extremely feminine and small. You can still never be sure but sticking to hefty Dutch and East European women should dramatically increase your odds of not becoming an accidental gay.